muffins, granola & cookies oh my!

I feel so gross I was dreading even writing a blog entry.

Why is it that even though you may know food is not the answer, that you know there are other ways to deal with frustrations & you KNOW you have been working so hard lately at staying on track, these things still happen?? I thought being at work would be good, but honestly its stressing me out. I'v been fighting with the short term disability, remembering that were short-staffed at work, and get home feeling wiped.  I didn't even make it to the gym today. I don't even want to think of what got stuffed into me, but I need to get it out of me somehow, so writing will do since vomiting is not an option.

2 (organic, jillian) pumpkin blueberry muffins 12 pts total
?? how many chocolate covered almonds ?Pts
some leftovers from last night ~5 pts
Sweet potato fries and little appetizer things ~9 pts
~1/4 cup light granola 2 pts
1 granola chocolate cookie 2 pts
1 MGD 64 1 pt

so... that means 31 pts + the chocolate almond points + the 10 I had total for breakfast & lunch. GROSS. this is the biggest binge I've had in a LONG time. The disability problems got solved so hopefully that wont be stressful tomorrow. I know not being able to go to the gym when I want is getting to me. I'm going to try going early before work tomorrow, then maybe a short time right after work to blow off some steam. I seriously spent a good portion of today wishing I could win the lottery or become a stay at home mom so I could not go to work, eat when I'm actually hungry. listen to my body & workout when I want. I HATE that life gets in the way of sucess. Or do we have to learn to adapt at life to be successful?

Kevin & I are going to Vermont this weekend. He grew up near Burlington, but doesn't have family there, has never had a reason to take me. I've never met him hometown friends, seen where he used to work, or went to school. I could always show him those place since we go by them everyday here. I'm excited to share these things with him, I can't believe its taken over 5 years to do it. We haven't really talked about things since saturday, I think just re-stabilizing the relationship is important to do before we really figure out what the next step is.

Heres what I need to do:
1. Tomorrow is WI day. I will WI (Im sure it will suck) my points will reset & I will work HARD at staying on track,
2. I will hit the gym in the AM and pack a bag to go directly from work, maybe for swimming if its nice out. If I really need to rest my foot after work, I will come home & lay in bed, upstairs away from food for 30 min.
3. I will buy NO new scratch tickets until I can stay OP for a whole week without bingeing (Ive become addicted to scrabble & Bingo scratch tickets lately!)

Thats my plan. sorry I write such long posts if your still reading this! haha

1 comment:

Lindsay said...

I'm sorry you had a crummy day.
It's good that you tracked your foods though even though there are times when looking at the amount of points I've consumed can literally make me sick to my stomach.

You're completely right, tomorrow is a new day and points will reset. You can do it!

Good luck with getting to the gym in the morning. That's definately something I struggle with!