Dear Stephanie,

For the month of April, I've committed to 30 days of posting!

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Day 10

Dear 16 year old me

Write a letter to yourself at age 16. What would you tell yourself? What would you make your younger self aware of?

Dear 16 year old Stephanie,

       

        Your life is not what you see it as. You may feel lonely, unpopular, fat, and powerless. Even though you spend hours after school stuffing your face, and playing on your computer, and feeling completely miserable and alone, you are stronger than you think. High school is not where everyone has their best years, in fact, yours will come later down the road. Later, when you have fought through the emotional binge eating, the isolation, and self-pity. Your best days will come when eating healthy and exercising teach you to start feeling better about yourself. You'll learn to put yourself out there, and make more friends, and learn that happiness and confidence come from feeling more comfortable in your own skin. One day, memories of sitting on the couch eating a box of oreos will seem foreign, and instead you'll look forward to the next marathon or triathlon you're training for. You'll still struggle at times with food, but overall you are stronger and you love yourself more than you ever did before, to go back to that place. You may not have a date for senior prom, and have to buy a dress in a big girl size, but one day you'll walk down the aisle in a gorgeous gown with the man you love. You may hate yourself, your body, your entire life, but those are just words. Pick your head up, and fight on, because your best is yet to come.

Love,

almost 30 Stephanie

16 year old Stephanie

almost 30 Stephanie

What would you tell your 16 year old self?

High School You

Last night, my dad was inducted into the athletic hall of fame at his high school. Our high school, I guess you could say. My dad was a killer golfer and hockey player in high school and is currently a golf pro playing in lot of tournaments & working hard at his golf course, and working his way toward the senior PGA tour. I was so proud to see him up there, and hear about all his high school accomplishments. It made me start to think of my athletic abilities (or lack of) in high school.

I was never into sports. In kindergarden, I was the girl that stood on the field braiding hair and watching the ball go by. When I was 4 I started dance classes, and when I was 7 I discovered cheerleading. I continued with cheerleading from age 7 to age 19, cheering at middle school, high school, and a year of college. I loved it, but cheerleading at my high school was not an intense sport, requiring extreme fitness. I was the girl that said "cheerleaders don't run," when my coach tried to get us to run laps. I was a "base" for all the stunts, throwing the smaller girls up in the air. I was good, and I loved it, but I was heavy. I never weighed myself (probably would have died from the shock), but I'm thinking I must have topped off around 220 or 230. yikes.

My high school cheer outfit

I was overweight, and had really bad self confidence. Luckily in college I worked myself out of that funk, and discovered that I actually enjoyed running after graduating from grad school. If only I had taken it up earlier. I wonder what my life may have been like if I knew I liked to run back then. Would I have looked different? Had different friends? loved myself more?

Team mates at cheer camp (I'm far right)

What were you like in high school? Do you look back wishing things were different, or look back happily at the time you spent there?

I'm happy for the person I've become, what I've changed into with running along the way. In high school I never in a million years would think that one day I would run half marathons & complete triathlons. I would have died laughing if someone told me that. I'm proud of the person that I am today, and I look forward to what the future holds for my new athletic sense of adventure!